PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Ugh, no,
no I'm not coming into work today.

No, I'm not feeling very well.

No, I don't know about tomorrow.

Yes, OK, I will make sure
I get a doctor's note. Thank you.

You want a tea, Phil?

Er yeah, ta.

I'm gonna have to find another
mug or wash one up. Shirl? Yeah, stick one in there.

Shouldn't you be at work?
Yeah I'm going in a minute.

Won't be needing that cup then,
will you? Morning!

What d'you want?
I just wanted a cup of tea.

Well, join the queue. Come on.
All right, I'm going.

Any post for me?

No.
Sorry, milk's ran out.

Go and get some, will you?
No I'm all right - I've had mine.

I'll get on the move, then?

You er, working today, Phil?

I might be, why?

I'm gonna get
an extra box of doughnuts, then.

Shirl, get us some milk,
will you?

Why? Your legs dropped off?

Come on kids, you're gonna be
late again!

Oy-oy, you're up early, ain't ya?
Yeah, man, training!

Training? You've just got married,

you shouldn't have the
energy for exercise! Don't worry about me, bruv!

It's my lady who needs a rest,
you know what I mean? Oh, right.

PHONE RINGS

So, er, you got any grapefruit?
You what?

You know, it's like an orange,
but bigger? I know what a grapefruit looks like.

There you are, they're over there.
32 pence. Yeah?

Here's 35. . . keep the change,
Billy Boy!

Thanks very much!
Yep, later.

Sy, no good ever
comes from keeping secrets.

I don't want to tell her,
or anyone, about the engagement yet.

Don't you think we should at least
mention to her that we're thinking of starting a family? No!

Look, we need to give her more time.

Mum's only just started
speaking to me.

So if we land the adoption
on her. . . Exactly!

If Zainab's just started
talking to you, don't you think you should take this opportunity?

Before she turns again?

She's just thrown Dad out.

I don't think this is what
she needs right now.

It's exactly what
she needs right now, right?

Her son around her,
grandchild to fuss over. . .

might just take her mind off things.
Oh, I don't know.

I can never tell where
her head's at.

Then we need to
ask our man on the inside.

Oooh! I can proper
feel the burn man.

Oh, sorry babe.
No, er, it's OK.

Breakfast? Grapefruit?

What, it's healthy!

Look, I haven't got time,
I'm off to see my solicitor.

Divorcing me already, are you?

He's going to see if he can get my
hearing moved so I can sit my exam.

OK, well, at least let me
make you a sandwich or something.

You can take it with you.
I'm all right, I'll eat later.

Erm, lunch?
Probably.

No, no, silly! Lunch, with me!

I've got lots to do.

Mrs Chubb, this ain't a request,
you know? OK! Well, wish me luck.

All right, we'll smash it, yeah?

Ah, oh. Yeah.

What time are you going in?
When I feel like it.

Or have you got an opinion on that
as well? I was just asking.

Yeah and I'm just saying.
Being straight with you.

What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing.

Look, I'm trying to have a
conversation, showing some interest.

Do what you like.
No go on, I like good chat.

Anything else you want to discuss,
anything else that I'm. . . missing?

You're getting paranoid.
Is that right? Yeah. So there's. . .

there's nothing going on behind my
back, then? Like I said. Paranoid.

Dad.
I came to see your mum. I'm not sure that's a good idea. Why?

She's feeling
a bit down at the moment. Dad!

You're just going to end up arguing.
I just want to talk to her about last night.

Why, what have you done?
Nothing!

I want her to see what's happening,
how he's turning her head!

It's nothing to do with Yusef, OK?

He's just, he's trying to help her,
he's supporting her.

She wasn't sleeping,
he got her some pills. Pills?

I want to see her.
Dad, not now! Please! Shouldn't you be at work?

I should be at home!

What do you want?
Pleasure to see you too. Yeah, well I'm busy.

I hope you're not overdoing it?
Me? I'm fine.

But you, you might want to go
and see some sick people.

We're all sick, Phil. It's just a
matter of degrees. How's the family?

Yeah, like I said.
I'm busy, all right?

I booked her in last week,
rear discs? I don't think so.

Rushed off his feet.
He reckons he booked it in for rear discs last week. Yeah.

Well, it's not in the book.

Because you said I'm not
allowed to write in the book, so I left it for Ricky to do.

I'll pick it up after lunch.

Get your feet off there.
Morning! Morning?

It was a couple of hours ago.
It's near knocking-off time. I'm only a bit late. A bit late?

You're supposed to open up,
half past eight.

Well it's a bit difficult with all
the kids. Do I look like someone who cares?

Look, I'll work late.

Yeah, you'll have to, won't ya?
Well, a bit of overtime. . .

A bit of paying me
back the hours that you owe me!

I don't take much time off.

So what's happening next Monday, eh?

Yeah well Bianca's being sentenced,
I've gotta be there! Yeah, and getting acquitted, is she?

Probably not.
Nah.

And this is what it's going to
be like for the next few years.

I don't need a part-timer, Ricky.

So thanks for coming over, Tambo.
Thanks for inviting me. Here you go!

Careful, it's hot.
What's going on?

Well, we've got some really great
news. Last week, Sy and me. . .

Christian. . .
We're starting a family, Tam. We're looking into it.

How? What, are you going to adopt?
Of course we are!

What did you think?
I dunno. And we wanted to tell your mum. What?

You wanted to tell Mum.
I think it's a good time. Now is a terrible. . .

We could wait.
It's a perfect time!

Don't get me wrong, I'm completely
with you, but. . . Uncle Tamwar. Yeah.

It sounds nice, but. . .
But what? She'll explode.

But she's talking to Sy again!

Which is great, yeah,
big step forward, but what with everything else going on.

She's got to find out sooner
or later. Or later!

If your parents divorce,
it could affect our adoption.

It won't come to that, they're
always falling out. Not like this.

Me and Afia are like, pretending
to be happy about our pretend wedding

and they can't stop arguing.

Tell them that you're already
married. I can't, not now.

Mum and Dad will sort things out,
we just need to give them some space.

I don't think it's
going to be that easy.

I can do that.
All of a sudden you're a trained mechanic, are you?

Ricky! Ricky!
What are you doing, you moron? !

You've smashed those bulbs now.

I'm sorry, I forgot about them.
It's only a few bulbs.

You can pay for them, all right?

And you, if I want someone looking
stupid, I've already got Ricky.

Get that wheel off there.

How do you two work
in this mess, eh?

There is a load of cheques here
you ain't paid in.

We've been busy, haven't we?
Busy? It's over 800 quid's worth of cheques here.

I was going to do it at lunch time.
You ain't got time for lunch.

If these cheques don't clear
in time, you can wait for your wages, the pair of you.

What happened to your healthy
grapefruit diet?

It's got to be balanced, innit?

I've got some protein here,
some carbs there.

I'm on a high-energy programme,
you get me?

What are you in training for?

The Olympics.
Nothing like aiming high.

It's to be a torch-bearer.
A what?

The Gazette reckons they'll use
locals to carry the Olympic flame.

I'm a local.
Yeah, but young ones. Fit. I'm fit. I can carry a torch.

You know, you have got to
be nominated, man.

8,000 people carry
that torch from Athens.

They bring a torch all
away from Athens? !

What's the matter with this country?

Don't we make our
own torches any more?

Very rude to ignore
your father's calls. I'm all bent up about it.

Especially when I've got good news.
Who said sit?

I haven't had a drink in three
weeks. Ain't that something(?)

And I have found a job.
So you got my money then?

I will have, next week.
Along with somewhere to stay.

Plenty of room for two,
with a basement.

Somewhere you could put a studio.
Are you serious? Us, living together?

At least think about it.
After what you done to Mercy?

Scrambled egg on brown. Hey, how is
married. . . All good, all good.

Take care, later on.

You all right?
What d'you want?

I just wanted to say
I was sorry about you and Zainab.

I know you probably don't want
to hear it from me,

but I couldn't imagine
being without Sy.

You're right, I don't want to hear
it. We are committed to each other.

I just wish you could accept it.
What do you know about commitment?

What, love, honour, obey? You think
we're not capable of that?

Yeah, and if you don't mind. . .

Masood, it is really important
that Sy has his family around him.

Especially now. Now that we're
thinking of starting a family.

What?

Look, Masood. . .

What are you doing home?

Ricky and Jay are getting on
my nerves, I need five minutes.

It's not like you to let Laurel
and Hardy get the better of you. You try working with them.

You want to try living with
the Incredible Sulk. What's that supposed to mean?

You. Acting like a spoilt child
cos you couldn't go to Dubai.

All of these cases here
will fit your phone.

They might be a bit more expensive,
but they are top quality.

Sweet cheeks, you all right?
Great news.

Hey, mate, try the blue one.
The blue one's the one.

Sorry.
It's all right.

He was a browser anyway,
time-waster.

It looks like I can get my hearing
date moved and finish my exam!

Good times, man. Let's celebrate.
Let's get some lunch, a little bit of bubbly.

Are you trying to get me drunk?
You can't blame a man for trying.

I've got to get to school,
Meet in the caff in an hour?

No, no, no,
Dad's hanging around in there.

He doesn't know about us.
Why haven't you told him?

He's a pain, and I don't want him
giving it large, talking about right and wrong.

You can't lie to him.
Oh, yes I can. Just the way he taught me.

Well, if that's the way you want
to do it, see you in the Vic?

All right, see ya.
See ya.

We're not open yet.

We are not open.

What. . . ? OK.

Can I help you?

What?

What do you think?
You look great.

Tam, what is that strange look in
your eye?

We don't open till 12.

Oh, whatever do you mean?

Did you win?
You what? The bet.

It's got to be "silly top day".

No, I'm getting fit.
All right, and that tracky's going to help you?

It'll help get me in the zone.
A "no parking zone" by the colour of that.

They're looking for a local to carry
the Olympic torch. I'm perfect.

I need to get nominated.
Why are they going to pick you?

You can't get more local than me.
Me and Phil played in the fields where they're building that stadium.

Hang on a minute, fields?

I say fields, but we used to
break into the factories that they're pulling down.

Anyway, I'm going to be the perfect
example of the Olympic legacy.

Whoa! Hold tight, hold tight,
is that a big fat canary? Does it sing?

You'll be laughing on the other
side of your face

when I come sprinting
out of Stratford underground with the eternal flame.

You? ! In your dreams, come on.
Oi, I'm a Londoner, proper goods.

I've lived and worked here
all my life.

I am what this area is all about.

OK, so why are they tearing it down
and rebuilding it then?

I am what this area could be.
The future.

And it is all about the youth,
Grandpa. Yeah, yeah, all right.

Yeah, mate.

I thought while I was here
I'd stock up on my carbs.

And your pint.
And my hydration. I just need to get nominated. Ryan!

Fatboy, what are you having?
Just an orange juice.

HE MOUTHS

Perfect for delivery service.
Why did nobody ask me?

To surprise you.
Before I could talk you out of it.

It's a great idea.
Who'll do the deliveries? I can.

I'm not getting as
many shifts at the opticians. Are you sure this is safe?

It's just a moped,
even Tam can manage that. Thanks.

Watch where you're going, will you?
The pavement's yours, is it?

Yeah, I heard you'd been given
your marching orders.

Surprised he ain't taken your
job as well.

He hasn't taken anything
I can't get back.

You'd like to smash him about.
Or ain't you got it in you?

He's not taking my family. Push me
away from the people I'd die for?

Looks like he already has.

What do you want, Masood?

Inside, it's private.
Now is not a good time.

I don't remember asking you.
Don't make a scene. You've embarrassed us enough.

Why didn't you tell me about Syed
and Christian starting a family?

Go in, I'll deal with this.
When were you going to tell me?

This is not a good time.
Zainab. . . She doesn't need this.

I know what happened last night.

I saw you both go into my house,
I know you stayed the night.

Stalking your wife, how very sad.

When will you realise
she doesn't want you any more?

Did you know about Syed
and Christian having a child? No. Are they mad?

It might not be true.
Then why would Masood say it?

For effect.
For effect!

You think he would dream up
this madness for effect?

You don't think they'll
be able to have a child. Don't tell me what to think!

It is not a joke being shamed,

even Masood would
understand that this is wrong.

Zainab. . .
You don't understand. Maybe you need some rest, sleep.

What I need is for you
to keep your opinions to yourself.

And stay out of my life!

Sorry I was so long.
Mmm. . . No problem. Here you go. For me? !

Yes, can't a man
buy his wife flowers?

So, you're going to get
all your exams, become a teacher.

And all of this is going to be
awesome, I can feel it in my bones.

Well, what do YOU want?
Me? Mmm.

I've got what I want.
And you know what?

I'm cool, all right? And I can wait
until YOU say it's what YOU want.

All right, baby girl? Ha-ha-ha!
Well, isn't this cosy?

Mind if I join you?

Pat and Carol are out tonight.
I'm not good at babysitting.

Oh, come on, Jay,
it's only till Whit gets home.

I need to get some overtime,
you know?

I've got to pay for
Liam's school holiday.

I can't, I'm training tonight.
Oh, come on, mate.

I'll make it worth your while.
How? You're skint.

Yeah, only till the end of the month.

Well, ask me at the end of
the month, then. Is Phil about?

He's gone to the bank.
Everything all right? Yeah.

I just wanted to make sure
he was OK.

Yeah, he's his usual happy-go-lucky
self! You know what he's like,

he just disappears off and. . .

Well, he always comes back.
Yeah, like a bad smell. Yeah.

He has his moments.
Don't I know it?

Shirl, are you busy tonight?

Why?
Listen, you couldn't keep an eye on the kids for me, could you?

What, YOUR kids?
Yeah.

Ricky, I'd rather cut my own
spleen out with a rusty nail.

That's a no, then, is it?

Can we go?
He's buying us drinks.

That's the perfect time to kick out.
I'm not running away.

I begrudge every second he sucks out
of me, man! Oh, you're so dramatic!

No, he's going to be all up in
our business, all right?

Right, don't say nothing about
the wedding, all right? Keep it. . .

Thank you.
My pleasure. So, Arthur,

how is the world of
telecommunications? It's cool.

Any plans to expand?
Maybe, er, get a bigger stall?

Arthur was always
very technically minded.

We thought he was going to be
an IT specialist, or an engineer.

Yeah.
Something else you got wrong, eh?

There's nothing wrong working in a
market. Depends where you come from.

What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing.

Last of the big spenders, eh?
Brings you to the Vic,

instead of taking you uptown
somewhere nice. We've got to go now.

Let me get you a couple of
drinks. No, it's cool. . .

Fatboy, let me
get the happy couple a drink.

Another time, bruv.
The happy couple?

Well, she's made an honest man
out of him, ain't she?

Are you in need
of a cash injection?

Oh, I tell you what, mate,
that is genius.

Why didn't I think about that?
Cos you're not as clever as me.

No, but, I've got a bigger ratchet
in my hand

I could whack you round the head
with. I'm just trying to put you in the way of a few quid.

Yeah? How are you going to do that?

Phil got offered
a few weeks' work in Dubai.

Oh, what, he's going
to let me have it, is he?

The doctor said Phil's not allowed
to go, so there's a job going.

Yeah, well, what about my kids?
Phil told Shirley that it was big money.

But, remember, I'm so dim,
I might not remember the details.

I've still got this in my hand,
you know.

What were you thinking? !

Excuse me, I'm sitting here!
Did she pay you? No, I did not!

It ain't like that.
She's in this country illegally!

I'm not! Well, technically,
but not really. Oh, I see.

So you thought, "Oh, I know,
I'll get some fool to marry me. "

Hey, let's alljust calm down.
You're throwing your life away.

Listen, I'd do anything for Mercy,
yeah? Do you love him?

I, I. . .
Yeah, you see, I thought so.

So, what happens when Immigration
finds out it's a sham marriage? They won't. Come on. . .

They found out she was illegal.
Because somebody phoned them. Yes, me.

Hiya!
In 'ere!

Ooh, nice top.
Well, got to have the right gear. Yeah, what for? !

My exercise programme.
Your exercise programme? Yeah.

I've seen you come across faint
using a remote control! I'm serious.

I want to be an Olympic torchbearer.
Don't you have to be an athlete? No.

They want to use local people.

I just want my kids to see me
do something other than

stand by a stall all day long.
Something that'll last a lifetime.

Then get a tattoo.
SHE LAUGHS

What are you doing? !
I need someone to nominate me.

No, stop it, please!
Well, nominate me, then.

You're going to hurt yourself. . .
Nominate me, then! OK, all right.

Thanks, Ju.

THEY LAUGH

Wasn't that great?
Well, not the most fun I've had today.

Oh, it was a pretty close second.

Hello. What's wrong?
Christian told Dad about our plans to adopt.

I thought we were going to wait
until. . . Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry, all right?
It just slipped out. How does. . .

"We're going to adopt a baby" just
slip out? I see him in the caff. . .

Oh, come on,
you know he winds me up.

What, and you just had to tell him?
It's done, what happens now?

I don't understand
the rush to have a baby.

See, not everyone thinks it's a good
idea. Do you want to have a baby?

What's wrong with us wanting to
start a family? Because you're gay.

You don't have every aunt, uncle,
cousin, interfering busybody

demanding to know when you're going
to start popping little brats out.

You want babies.
Why does it have to be so extraordinary?

Why can't we just do it and no-one
care? It's not like that for us.

It's just too much for Mum
to take on at the moment, OK?

She's really fragile.
Really?

Perhaps we ought to run?
I should go. No.

You steal from us,
you desert your wife for THAT,

and now you want to ruin
a child's life? ! No!

And I have to find this out
on the street! We love each other, and we want a family!

Don't waste your breath!
I could never be a part of THAT!

Oh, gone off, has it?
Past its best-by?

Or did you think you'd
driven me back to the bottle?

No, you've got that angry Phil look.

HE SIGHS
Like you're looking for any excuse.

Well, can you blame me, eh?
A houseful of numpties,

idiots at work,
kids I don't see, and. . .

a missus who undermines me at every
turn. It was the doctor's decision not to OK the insurance cover.

I decide whether I stay
or whether I go. I was only thinking of you.

Huh! Are you saying
I can't handle a few weeks' graft?

No, I'm saying it's not worth
taking any risks. Oh, no risks.

So what now, eh,
the Darby and Joan Club?

Tea dances down the centre,
taking orders from Ricky and Jay?

I need you here.
What, to keep an eye on me?

I'm trying to keep
this family together!

But we ain't together. Because
Ben ain't here. But Ben. . . Ben. . .

manages to write to you,
doesn't he? Eh?

KEYPAD BLEEPS

PHONE RINGS

'Hi. Masood. . .
And Zainab.

'. .are unable to take your call
at the moment.

'So leave a message after the tone. '
ANSWERPHONE BLEEPS

Zee, when you get this message,
please call me. She's probably asleep.

Given her some more pills,
have you? Pills?

I don't need to drug your wife
to get her into bed.

Jay, where the hell are you? !
I'm meant to be picking Tiffany up from her mate's!

Now, hurry up, ten minutes!

My car?
Yes. Right, er. . .

There's your key, and your bill.
I can't wait.

Yeah, but Jay'll be back in a sec.
I won't be long.

DOOR SLAMS

You really think
I'd let you destroy my family?

You sound rather melodramatic,
Masood. It doesn't suit you.

Oh, I should just walk away?
It would save you a lot of heartache.

SMASHING

Is this, er. . .

Is this a private party?
Phil, thank God you're here. . . Eh, you stay where you are!

Now, this is just getting
interesting.

Well, come on, don't mind me.
Now, hold on. . .

You want to sleep with my wife?
I didn't. Huh?

Now, wait a minute, come on.
It was a lie, OK? It was a lie!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

On second thoughts. . .
You crazy idiots.

I told you, stay where you are!

Now, get in the boot.
Come on, guys. I said. . .

get in the boot!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd